The Good News

Yin-Yang

2010-08-11T23:32:00.003-04:00

It's been some years since I've heard it said that in a relationship, your partner cannot make you whole. Only God can make us whole. Just recently, I was reading a book on relationships and the author said it another way, "You need to be complete before marriage, so you can be whole in the marriage." Any one who knows me knows I like to use analogies to paint a clearer picture and the symbol of the yin-yang illustrates this point wonderfully.

First off, when a man and woman marry the two become one (Genesis 2:24). So now, picture the yin-yang symbol. It is essentially two separate pieces that come together to form one unit. But imagine if either of those pieces looses its tail or the other had a huge chunk carved out of its head. When they form their union, they will still be incomplete. The one with the complete tail can't cover the imperfections of the other and vice versa.

The Fast...

2010-06-23T22:58:00.004-04:00

It's been a few days since my last update. I'll admit I've been lazy about updating my post over the last few days because in all honesty, I'm ready for the fast to be over. It's been shortened once again and we will be ending on Sat, June 26th. I'll admit that it's opened my eyes to see things that I need to get back to doing. Like when I first moved to Sacramento, for a few months, I didn't have a TV, so I read. A lot. Mainly the Bible, but also other books that I got from the library. I don't do that as much anymore.

My eating habits could stand to evolve as well. Refined white sugar is my biggest problem, followed next by bouts of gluttony. I get a hold of something that really taste good and it's like I can't rest until it's gone. So my remedy has been not to buy sweets or junk food to keep in the house. But I do have my weak moments and somehow they make it through the door. But it's not just limited to sweets, I do the same thing with nuts, mixed or not.

I almost broke a few times over the course of today, although I did have to break the fast a few days ago as I wound up sick. I'll spare the details of what exactly happened but lets just say it will be some time before I eat mixed nuts and salmon in the same day.

Needless, to say, this fast is showing me how much I really do need the Lord and how, I'm truly nothing without Him. There are moments when I can be so ungrateful but God loves me through it. Days where I can get so annoyed and frustrated at myself or the world and God still loves me through it. What other friend would put up with such ugliness and selfishness? No other friend I know. Thank goodness that even through all of that He can still see through and see the best in me and that best is all He needs. Thank you, Lord for looking beyond my faults and knowing my heart...

The Fast: Days 8, 9, & 10: Standing on God's Word

2010-06-18T23:15:00.005-04:00

I'm not too proud of the fact that I haven't written a post since Tuesday but I did manage to write a few revelations down during my morning prayer and meditation time. On Wednesday morning, June 16th, as I finished reading Proverbs 16, these words came to my heart, "We are merely reflective surfaces reflecting God's glory." Thursday morning's meditation brought these words, "I want to be purposeful in my living and giving".

Today, I didn't manage to write down any words but I did receive a word at the woman's meeting at CCC tonight. It actually ties in with my last post on Tuesday night pertaining to what would God have to do in our lives to show that He's real. Well, Elder Karen read from Psalm 34 and when she got to verse 8, which reads, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. (NIV)". I felt my Spirit say to me that this will become the foundational scripture of my ministry. Still not sure what all this ministry would entail but I'm feeling like it's got something to do with reaching out to people who are seeking or have doubts about Him.

God is also dealing with me in another area of my life and that is my dealings and relationships with people that I don't know very well. I tend to be a little akward and sometimes even a little standoffish. In a large room full of people I don't know, I usually stand by myself praying for the night to be over. I'd also like to work on being more approachable and less reserved. If people feel they can't talk to me or feel uncomfortable approaching me then how am I going to reach them for Christ and why would they want to listen to me? This all ties in to the ministry which my Spirit is whispering to me will actually be some form of outreach or missions.

The Fast: Day 7: A Thought Crossed My Mind...

2010-06-15T23:28:00.002-04:00

A thought crossed my mind as I was getting ready to go to bed (and actually forgo writing anything tonight). I was just thinking about how real God is and how several years ago, I knew that without a shadow of a doubt that He is more real and tangible than things I can see. I know how it can be to struggle with believing in Him and whether or not He's "real". It took a few signs, wonders and many answered prayers for me to know, that I know that I know that I know, He is indeed for real.

And with that I had this thought; how can God make himself real to you if he hasn't already? And what would you like Him to do in your life to prove that He is who He says he is and that He can do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we ask or seek? Just a little food for thought...

The Fast: Day 6: Being Accountable

2010-06-14T22:57:00.003-04:00

I'm going to try and keep this one short because I just got in from practice and dropping a few folks at home and well, I'm a little tired. Nonetheless, the leader of the step team, Reggie, had a serious heart-to-heart with us. Quite a few people had been struggling with the fast (myself included) and he encouraged to continue and finish it out. Turns out the fast has been shortened. So, instead of us finishing on June 30th, we will break the fast on June 28th. Hallelujah!

The Fast: Day 5: What's Your View Look Like?

2010-06-13T21:55:00.009-04:00

Overall, I had a really good day today. I saw the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater for the first time at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. Everyone I asked about it said that they'd already seen it so I was beginning to feel like I was riding the late bus. It was a great production! It completely activated my sense of sight, sound and imagination. I know that imagination is not an official sense but it probably should be. My seat was amazing! I was sitting in the balcony in the front row so my view was unblocked and I could see from such a bird's eye view that I doubt sitting on the floor would have given me the same perspective.

It's amazing how my view and perspective at the show kind of ties in with the message given today by Pastor Peter Mortlock of City Impact Church in Auckland, New Zealand. He spoke about our vision and how when we limit it, we limit God's work in our lives. He made a comment that "the higher we go the more we can see. The more we can see the more we can achieve." And he's right.

He also mentioned this idea of spiritual mountain climbing. It wasn't until I started writing this post that I made the connection between my seat at the show today and his sermon. I was clearly able to see after the show how important your view of things really is. I was able to see things from up top that may have not been as powerful for people looking at it head on. He also made mention of the fact that the flesh hates it. The flesh tends to think small in an attempt to resist the effort it takes to reach new spiritual heights.

I was just thinking about the current "view" of my life and I have to admit that I've kind of stopped climbing. Lately, it seems like my view has been obscured by skyscrapers and tenement buildings. I want to be able to see over and above these. I don't want the sky to be the limit for me. Not sure exactly what I'd like to see but I know that when I start praying like Jabez and asking God to increase me territory and my view He will show me the way up the fire escape ladder and out onto a rooftop overlooking the world that He has already overcome. And in Him, so will I.

So, I leave you with this. From what heights are you viewing your life? How high do you want to go?

The Fast: Days 3 & 4: Recap

2010-06-12T22:28:00.004-04:00

So, I didn't get around to blogging yesterday as I was honestly too sleepy. But one of the thoughts that came to me early in the day pertained to me possibly moving back to Atlanta in the next few years. I've debated it in the past but never felt truly ready to do. The only difficult thing about me moving back to Atlanta now would be the fact that I would have to leave CCC and the CCC family that I've gained. God also impressed upon my heart the idea that if I were to make that move that it would a) need to be for the right reasons. Not because I miss my family and have felt lonely living so far away. And b) I need to make sure that my spiritual and financial houses are in order. In other words what would be the spiritual purpose for moving back? What would I like to gain spiritually and where would my church home be? He reminded me that, like our Pastor has stressed to us, it's important to know my core values and purposes for my life and seek ministries that line up with those. And I think the financial order speaks for itself. I'd love to buy a home once back in the A so I need to account for that as well as the expenses associated with moving.

All that was for yesterday. Then for today. It was a day that I can say was truly lead by God. I had plan to attend the singles ministry meeting at church (which I did). I had doubts that I would go at first because I really wanted to sleep in. But, one of my sister's on the step team asked if I could pick her up and then another, so I willing agreed. Once, I'd picked them both up we headed for the meeting which was great! Minister Reggie Alvarez brought the truth from the Word. Straight, with no chaser! The topic was "Being Set Apart for Holiness" and how to be holy.

After the meeting, a few of us had a lunch consisting of mixed vegetables and water. We then headed over to one of our sister's in Christ, Kaylar's fitness center grand opening. It was an awesome time and to top it off they had fruit galore as well we get to go back for a free class! Do i sound excited? That's because I am. After, I went to the movies to see the Jaden Smith in the remake of the Karate Kid with one of my sister's in Christ and Boots homie, Joan. The movie was better than I thought it'd be. Before the movie though (we had a few hours to kill) we went to eat at Boulder Creek, which I had never been. I had garlic crusted salmon, mixed vegetables and and a sweet potato. I was in heaven! She made a comment that she almost didn't even go to the meeting but was glad she did. I'm happy she did too. From that I was reminded that sometimes the things that we don't really want to do or the things we are finding it difficult to do are things that we should avail ourselves to. Maybe not in all cases but it's something to consider.

The Fast: Day 2: Becoming Resensitized

2010-06-10T22:01:00.005-04:00

Ok, I seriously had to ask myself why I was fasting this morning. I'm still not feeling 100%. I woke up feeling worse today than I did yesterday. It crossed my mind as I was getting ready for work that the enemy is trying to attack my health and energy. I was experiencing really bad habit pangs and I seriously wanted to break the fast this morning and call it a day. All I could think about was my extra sweet cup of hot green tea! I've done partial fasts before. I've done one meal a day fasts. I've even done the eat nothing fast. But this fast fast tougher.

A few days ago, I was already to do this but now I'm in it and as much as I want to break it, I realize that if I can hold on and bear with it, I will be made stronger in the end. It also dawned on me this morning that when we don't fast, we tend to become desensitized to the word and God's voice. I guess this also ties into yesterday's post where I spoke about taking God for granted and feeling like I'm having one-sided conversation. I guess it would feel that way if I'm desensitized.

I was also feeling really irritable and moody and this is definitely playing out on my job. Luckily, I was able to pray for others and be prayed for at lunch via a phone prayer cord. I also, prayed with my prayer partner, Jamie. She really blessed me with her words and I know they aren't in vain. God's word will never return void so even when I don't feel or see the direct results of the prayers right away, I know they're on the way!

The Fast: Day 1: Fire for the Lord

2010-06-09T20:51:00.007-04:00

Some highlights from today:

This morning, I was feeling a little bit under the weather. I pushed myself to get up and out of bed. As I started praying, I realized that the fire and excitement I have for things when they are new was not there in my heart. I felt bad about that because I realized that in a sense, my prayer time with God has become sort of a routine. So routine that I take it for granted. It's like the thrill is gone. Sometimes when I pray, I feel as though I'm writing a verbal letter to God or leaving a voice mail. In essence, it tends to feel very one-sided.

I know that the communication is not one-sided as I do read my word in the morning (and at night) and I do hear the Lord speaking to me through the word. But lately, every since I moved back to the east coast I've been feeling like His presence is harder to feel and His voice is becoming harder to hear through the noise from the City.

Also, my flesh was definitely feeling the effects of the fast and starting its rebellion act. I was extremely moody and wanted to eat every and anything I could. We were also paired up with another member of the Boots team to pray with. I didn't get the chance to pray with my prayer partner tonight but I know that the prayers of the righteous does avail. And I know that it's through prayer that I will avail.

The Next 21 Days

2010-06-08T22:55:00.000-04:00

I'm a Pisces and growing up I was always into astrology. One of the things that was often said about us is that we tend to view the world through rose-colored glasses. Essentially, what that means is that we don't always see things for what they are but through a lens that slightly tints reality. It's almost like we see what we want to see. Several years ago when I moved to the City I asked God to remove those rose-colored glasses from my eyes and boy has He ever! I bring this up because I've had an emotional few weeks that were chocked full of reality. I've been made aware of some things that have shocked me, upset me and disappointed me. For a few days, I was a literally out of it.

So, when I learned that the step ministry that I'm apart of at church (the team is known as Boots) would be embarking on a 21 day partial fast, I was all for it. Of course, to some degree I'm never really ready to partake in a fast, as it never seems convenient. But this time feels different. It's like I need it. Almost craving it. I know that whenever I fast, I feel God working through and around me in ways that I could never imagine or have experienced. And I need His infilling and presence with me now more than ever.

At any rate, I'm going to attempt to blog everyday during the fast just to share what God is revealing to me and what He's dealing with me about. Our reference scripture is Isaiah 58 and the focus of the fast is not merely to "turn down our plates" but to seek God's wisdom for ways that we can pour out and give of ourselves to others. I've also been dealing alot with matters of relationships and am seeking God's face as it pertains to getting to know Him as my first and only true love. I realize that what I really want and need only God can provide. To require a mortal man to satisfy all of my desires, emotional and spiritual longings is unrealistic. I will never be able to be all things to him either. One of my friends shared a bit of wisdom about her own personal relationship. She said that she had to learn that God is her source. Everyone else is just a resource.

The fast will begin on Wed, Jun 9th. I'm ready. Let it begin...

Choosing God's Best

2010-05-31T23:35:00.013-04:00

I didn't want to get too deep into relationship matters today, but I'll admit I've been thinking about it a lot over the past few years. Most of my friends, including myself, have just crossed over the 30 mark. Most of my friends, also including me, are single. I don't think I feel as hard pressed as some of them might feel to to meet someone, get married and start a family. Although that would be nice, the reality is finding a mate (or as I like to see it, being found by my mate) is probably one of the scariest, most important things that will ever happen in my life. I don't want to make a hasty decision. My mom always says this and it's really simple but, "haste makes waste". Marriage is til death do you part, although I know it's possible to experience the "D" word I don't like to pronounce, that's not something I want to experience.

So, that kind of brings me to the point of this post. I read a book years ago called Choosing God's Best by Dr. Ron Raunikar. There was one part in the book that really intrigued me and it was "God Reveals, Man Initiates and Woman Chooses." I always thought that this concept was interesting because my father used to tell my mom the same thing. There's more to this concept that I'm not touching on so it's definitely worth a read.

I realize that over the past few years I've been in such hot pursuit to build my career that I've never really taken the time to nurture relationships and that includes friendships. So, I got to thinking about this whole reveals, initiates, choose cycle. I remember when I first moved to Brooklyn, I went apt hunting. I went to see a few apts that I had had picked out and a few that were suggested by my broker. I put in an application for one that I'd chosen and it took forever to get a response back. In the meantime, a good friend of mine introduced me to a lady who lived across the hall. The lady had a an apt that she was renting. So, I agreed to go check out the space and was quite pleasantly surprised with what I saw on the inside. I was also ecstatic about the rent. But, I still had my heart set on the other place. I was willing to risk loosing the place my friend recommended to pursue the other, higher priced, flashier apt.

After several weeks, I finally heard back about the apt I really wanted. To my disappointment I was rejected. I was crushed. After getting the news, I kind of had a little melt down. I felt helpless. At that moment I was reminded that I'd already seen an apt that pretty much fit most of my criteria. It was by no means perfect but it was what I needed (little did I know at the time that there would be added benefits too). So, weeks had past since I'd seen the place and I worried that it had been rented. So, my prayer to God was that if this place was still available, I'd take it. I felt silly that I didn't just take it when I had the chance to take it but no. I just had to see what else was out there even though I knew this was the best place for me. So I called the lady renting the apt and she said that her cousin had already promised it to someone else. BUT since she had shown it to me first and she liked me she would cancel the deal with the other lady so that I could have the unit. I was happy but not overly as the deal could still fall through. But it didn't and today, I still live in that apt. As I mentioned it is far from perfect, but I still love it. It's home. And the added perk is that I have off street parking for my car (Hallelujah!)

I said all of that to illustrate how, the reveals, initiates, chooses process can work. Yeah, I used an apartment for the illustration, but replace the apts with people or someone's name. Of course every situation is different but it shows how human nature can be. My Father knows best and even though I had a lot to choose from He allowed me to weigh my options and helped me make the best choice for me. God is the ultimate match maker and I know that if he can help me with the daunting task of finding an apt in New York City, He is more than able to introduce me and help me decipher the man whose rib cage He fashioned me from.

A Gentlemen's Gentleman

2010-05-24T23:50:00.000-04:00

I recently heard a track by Tonex called "Gentlemen's Gentleman" off of the London Letters cd. It appears to be several years old. It's a thought provoking song about male/female relationships. I do agree with Tonex on some things espcially about men being protectors of women and about not settling. I'm always interested in songs and reading about male/female relationships especially from a Christian perspective. At any rate feel free to check it out....

The track...

Missing the Opportunity

2010-03-03T22:40:00.000-05:00

"Missing the Opportunity" is actually a post that I'd posted on one of my other blogs, Commenterri.com. It's dated 8.25.05. I was living in Sacramento, CA at the time and I worked a job where some days, I had a lot of time to think about my life. Not sure what made me think about this post today but as soon as I sat down to write a post, this one came to mind. At any rate, I thought it'd be nice to post again.

"God deals with us in different ways yet it's usually to convey a common point. I was in the ladies room when this revelation hit me. I've been in Sacramento for over a year and I miss Atlanta alot. I know that God has a purpose for my life and right now that purpose involves Sacramento but some days I get the urge to just leave everything behind and move on to something new. The thing is if I jump up and do what I want to do I feel like I'm going to miss out on a wonderful opportunity which usually happens when we get out of God's will. I just keep asking "How much longer, God?" and I start to get impatient.

Then my Spirit gave me this analogy. It's like going to a Doctors office and God is the Doctor. The receptionist(or angel) greets me and tells me that the Doctor is seeing patients on a first come first serve basis. There are several people ahead of me so I don't know when God will get to me. I sit for a few minutes and get restless so I decide to go down the hall to get a snack from the vending machine and then on my way back make a stop in the ladies room. When I return the people who were ahead of me are gone and now there are more people waiting. I approach the receptionist to find out how much longer it'll be only to be told that my name had already been called and I'd need to sign in again. So in the course of several minutes I basically lost my postion and missed my turn (opportunity/blessing)."

The Passport

2010-03-03T22:32:00.001-05:00

I was speaking with a very wise young lady recently. She's in her first year of college and is truly flourishing and already making an impact on her school and her peers. During the course of our conversation she mentioned that her friends at school ask her why she always carries her Bible. She said she tells them that it's her passport.

That was honestly my first time ever hearing someone refer to the Bible as a passport. I couldn't contain my smile because indeed it truly is. It allows us access to the knowledge and wisdom of God. It gives us instructions in case of an emergency, we know who to call. The great thing about this passport, is that it never expires. It lasts from everlasting to everlasting.

The Pen of a Ready (and Willing) Writer

2010-02-05T23:24:00.018-05:00

Looking back on these older post has really ministered to me. I realize that it was not me writing these things but God working through me. I enjoy writing. It's a better release for me, sometimes, then talking things out. I've got to admit though, I've been lazy about writing! But I want to share a testimony that I had in 2004 while I was living in Sacramento, CA. I often tell people that Sacramento was my book of Acts. It was the place that God really started to show me who He was. Talk about signs and wonders! They were happening all around me and not just to me. It was a truly special time in my life.

Well, one Sunday or Monday in late Oct of 2004, I was sitting in bed. I don't recall what I was doing, if I was reading the word or what, but I heard the Holy Spirit say to me "Start writing again." I said "What?" and I heard Him say it again. I then got up from the bed and got one my journals to start writing but I didn't know what I was going to write about. I've kept and written in journals since I was 11 years old. At this time, I was 25. Admittedly, I'd slacked off once I got to college because come on, I was already doing enough writing for my classes. I didn't really want to write more if I didn't have to.

So, I grabbed my journal and started writing what was on my heart. After I stopped writing, I heard the same voice say to me go to the Prayer service at Church that would be taking place the following day. Again, I asked "What?" and the voice repeated it. I don't know why now, but I can remember feeling nervous about going to the prayer meeting. I didn't know what to expect and I was hoping for dear life that they wouldn't make me pray out loud. So the day of the prayer meeting, there where several events prior to me getting there that the Lord knew would happen, that would try to discourage me from going but in the end I found myself at the church. I remember waiting downstairs in the lobby before going into the sanctuary and I felt like I was waiting to receive something but didn't have a clue as to what it could be. I just knew that I was in the house of the Lord and whatever it was that I was going to receive would be awesome. There weren't a lot of people there that night (7 people in all including moi). We did praise and worship and listened to a short sermon by the leader of the service.

At one point, the leader goes around and ask us to share a brief praise report or testimony. I wasn't sure what I would share. There's so much to be grateful for. As I was contemplating what to say my spirit suggested to share my mother's testimony, which was the fact that after 30+ years of smoking, by the grace of God, she quit. It was my turn to share and as I began to talk, I just broke down. I mean a water works of tears overtook me. At some point one of the Pastors wives came over to console me. As she did she leaned over and whispered to me "Are you a writer?" I was so taken off guard. I nodded slightly and she began to tell me that God told her that I would be a writer. I was floored! She basically affirmed what God had spoken to me the night before. He wanted me to start writing again. There was no way she could have possibly known that unless the Spirit revealed that to her. She began to pray over me and bless me. Later that evening she told me that she was a little nervous and skeptical about telling me what she did. I'm so grateful that despite her reservations, she was obedient to the word and move of the Holy Spirit.

I felt a sense of relief that night. Like a burden had been lifted off of me. Not too long after that commenterri.com emerged followed by The Good News. I've definitely slacked off on my writing but God always gives me a reason to continue. I'm still growing into this. I'm absolutely humbled that he would choose to use me as an instrument to share His truths, love and wisdom.

It's Been Too Long...

2010-02-05T22:46:00.000-05:00

I'm a little embarrassed at how long its been since I last wrote a post. And with good reason, I should be embarrassed considering how faithful God has been to me in the last few years. In all honesty, I can truly say that I've been spoiled by my Dad. And I like it.

There are some new issues God is dealing with me on. I'm in 30's now and seeing things a little bit clearer and differently. I know I have to share the things He's revealed and is doing in my life. And I definitely intend to.

Peace & Blessings...
-Terri

My Favorite Things

2007-05-10T14:30:00.000-04:00

For the first time, I really listened to the words of this song. Now, I know it's been a Christmas staple remade and redone by almost everybody but honestly, I never really liked the song until I heard this version by Mark Murphy. After listening to it I have a new found appreciation for the song.

The part of the song that really stands out to me is when he sings:

when the dog bites/when the bee stings/when I'm feeling sad/I simply remember my favorite things/and then I don't feel so bad.

I was reminded of a verse of scripture that really brought this song to life for me and gave it new meaning. Philippians 4:8 (NIV ammended) reads:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

God Is Life

2007-03-13T16:03:00.000-04:00

When I die who of my family, generations down the line, will remember me? Who will care what I looked liked or how great my fashion sense was? Once my friends and family all pass away so will the knowledge of me. The only thing that I can pass on that can be known for generations to come is the name of Jesus. Thinking about life like this gives me some perspective. When I think about life I try to think of Jesus. I mean think about it. What is it that we really remember about Him. Since none of us were alive when he was here there’s not much we can remember of him physically. We didn’t know him when he walked in the flesh. But what we do know of him is the life He lead, His teaching, His death and resurrection. Basically, we remember the important stuff. We don’t remember Jesus because he was the hottest, most attractive bachelor in Nazareth. We don’t remember him because of the awesome furniture that he built (he was a carpenter by trade. Yes, Jesus worked just like the rest of us). We remember him for the inspiring life he led on our behalf, not for his physical prowess or what he possessed materially. All of that passed away. Just as it will for us someday. And when it does what will you leave that can be shared with all who need it (and I’m not just talking about money)?

Coveting

2007-01-15T15:12:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm guilty of it although I'd never really admit to it before. But lately, as I seek to increase my knowledge in many areas, including web design, I've found myself, coveting someone else's talent. Don't get me wrong. I've come a long way in my design skills but I feel like I still have so far to go. I make the mistake of looking at other people's work and I start to compare my work to theirs.

Then there's the thought that maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I should be doing something different. But then I realize that God doesn't always call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I don't know where I read that or who it's from but I like that saying alot. I have to realize that many are called but the chosen are few (Matthew 22:14). I like to believe I'm one of the chosen although I don't always feel that way.

In times like these I'm reminded of when I was about 16 or 17 years old. I was watching Rap City on BET and the rap duo Gangstarr was on the show that day. Although not scriptural in nature, DJ Premiere said something that I've never forgotten. He simply said, "Don't sweat the next man/woman. Do what you do best."

Timeclock

2006-08-09T08:20:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning as I was clocking in to work an analogy came to me about God and a timeclock. His forgiveness and grace and a timeclock adjustment sheet. To give some background, the day before I'd forgotten to clock out for lunch. I didn't realize it until I was getting ready to "clock-in" from lunch. Next to the timeclock is a paper timeclock adjustment sheet. Needless to say this is the sheet that we use to make adjustments to our time. So, I filled it out noting the correct time as well as the wrong time. I was grateful that I could go to the the timeclock sheet and get my time straightened out. But what if I didn't know about that sheet? What if I didn't know that if I messed up I could correct the action? If I hadn't known, I could have spent the whole day working and went the rest of the day and week without clocking in or out all because I'd made a mistake therefore missing out on several days pay.

That's how many of us are when it comes to sin and mistakes. We mess up and instead of looking to God and confessing and asking for forgiveness we walk around thinking there's nothing we can do. We blew it. The sad thing is that many people don't even know about Gods forgiveness and grace and so they never ask. Some people go the entire week not clocking in or out because they don't know how to correct the action. They stop going to church, fellowshipping with other believers all because they messed up and feel bad or unworthy. But God is like that timeclock adjustment sheet. He's always there right next to us where we need Him so that when the mistakes happen (and they will) we can go to God and ask for forgiveness. Then He covers us with His grace so that we don't go any further and miss out on the blessings He has for us.

Even When I Don't Feel Like It

2006-05-08T13:15:00.000-04:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I feel like I've been having "one of those days" everyday lately. Needless to say, my everyday job situation doesn't do much to help my mood. I feel like calling in sick almost everyday. So, I now you're probably saying to yourself, "This sure doesn't sound like good news." It's not but the good news lies not in the situation or the circumstance but the promise of things getting better. It lies in the fact that although I really, really, really wanted to call in sick today, I realize that there is someone who couldn't do much of anything this morning because of an illness. I'm grateful I'm not sick today and I don't want to take it for granted. I realize that there was someone who needed me more than I realized today. We never really know how our thoughts and actions affect other people but when I take the time to be still I feel the Spirit revealing things to me concerning the word and about others that I couldn't possibly know without Him. It's just about being obedient to the Spirit and acting on His word even when I don't feel like it.

The $35 Million Dollar Post

2006-04-05T17:39:00.000-04:00

No, I didn't win $35 million nor am I giving $35 million away. I am taking a class at church from the Crown Financial Ministries. It focuses on finances from a biblical perspective. One of the chapters we just finished in our workbook is entitled "Perspective". There was a point made in the chapter that success is meaningless apart from serving God. As I read on, they mentioned King Solomon, who is the author of Ecclesiates. It made mention to the fact that King Solomon had an annual income of more than $35 million. My mind began to wonder. $35 million a year. What could I do with that? I guess the real question would be what couldn't I do? I read on, the author noted what Solomon concluded of his riches: "Vanity of all vanites...all is vanity (Ecclesiastes 12:8)" The author goes on to state that NOTHING can replace the value of our relationship with the Lord.

I was reminded of a conversation that'd taken place during one of the classes, about how there was a guy who tithed 90% of his income and lived off of the remaining 10%. I did the math of tithing 90% of $35 million. There'd still be more than 3 million dollars a year left to live on! But for some people that still wouldn't be good enough. I still think it's crazy when I see people spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on cars, clothes.... I mean seriously, there are kids who aren't eating. People struggling. How could I justify a hundred thousand dollar car even if I could afford it? To each his own but I'm saying. There are so many other things more important than what type of car I drive. My Mom says that if I ever had that much money, a hundred thousand dollar car wouldn't be a thing. Who knows?

So, basically, that brings me to my next point which was also mentioned in the workbook. God, in His infinite wisdom, knows exactly how much he can entrust to us at anytime without it harming us. This also ties into learning to be content with what I have. I say $35 million wouldn't change me, that my fellowship with the Lord wouldn't be affected but I don't really know that. I'm still human and with $35 million there are going to be some human moments for sure. God knows this too. Sometimes, we think we can fool Him by making claims we won't change or by promising that we'll do this or that with the money "for the kingdom". He knows whether we will or won't. I'm really grateful that he doesn't give me everything I want.

I started thinking about that $35 million and I started to picture myself walking with the Lord. He's showing me what my life would be like, right now, if he were to give me those millions and explains why he hasn't. Not to say that he won't someday but he knows that right now I'm still growing in faith and would not be ready to handle that kind of responsibilty. If I can't show that I'm a good steward over the things that I have right now why would I be any better with more? These are things that I sometimes overlook and it helps put things back into perspective. $35 million would be nice right about now but not if it's going to cost me eternity.

Dew

2006-02-21T10:17:00.001-05:00

Wow, it's been awhile since I've been over here which is a bad on my part cause a lot of wonderful things have been happening. So, much so that there wouldn't be enough space or time for me to tell it all. But I will share one of the many ways that God has found to keep me sane.

Last weekend we sang a song during church service that says "Like the dew in the morning, gently rest upon my heart..." Yesterday morning I woke up singing that song but then this morning I started singing "You're All I Need To Get By" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. I sang the first line of the song and I had to smile when I got to the part that begins, "Like sweet morning dew..." I wondered why I was filled with this urge to sing songs with the word dew. Then I realized that I've been so preoccupied with the cares of life and worries and concerns that I haven't been resting, in the spiritual sense, but it's amazing to me that God can use something as simple as dew to make me smile and renew my strength and my faith. I looked up the definition for dew this morning and was amazed at one of its meanings. It said that dew is, "something moist, fresh, pure, or renewing". Not typically a meaning I would associate with dew, well, except the moist part. I see now how much like dew God really is (without the moisture of course). Needless to say, after today, I'll never see dew the same way.

I've Got A Testimony

2005-12-18T00:35:00.000-05:00

I was broke after buying this car and I was in need of gas. I didn't realize that the car was halfway to empty until I left the dealer ship. It behooves me how you can plop down thousands of dollars but they can't afford to fill the car up. At any rate I can't be too mad with them cause I should have caught it. At any rate so the closer I get to my house the lower the tank gets. So for the past few days I'd hussled every penny and dime I could. I'd spent my last little bit trying to fix the flat tire on my other car and I managed to get $5 to put into my new car. Well as everyone knows $5 doesn't get you much. In fact it got me two gallons of gas. But I'm still on "E".

Well Saturday evenings I go to church. The church services is held about 15 miles from my house and I knew that two gallons would be gone on the ride out there. So, I have a dilemma. Do I not go to church because If I do then I won't have any gas for the rest of the week? Or do I go and trust that God will make a way? So this morning I prayed for a while. I really wanted to go to church but I didn't not want to have any gas to get to work. I find it interesting that people will make a way to get to work but when it comes to God they cut corners. Then we wonder why when we need something from God he doesn't show up for us. I know my job is not more important than my faith so I resolved to go to church and see how the gas thing goes. I remember thinking that it would be nice to go to church and after have God speak a word to someone to bless me with $20 so I could get some gas.

As I was praying my Spirit started ministering to me about my pride. I received a word to call someone to borrow $20 dollars until Friday. So I get up the nerve to call a friend. I asked for $10 and she said that she had it. So I get in my car head over to her house and she hands me a sandwhich and two oranges along with an envelope. She said that she didn't have $10 and wanted to know if $20 would work. I told her it would and thanked her profusely. She looked at my car and said that we could still name it "Sugar". That was the name she'd given the Kia that I had. It was white in color my the Hyundai is blue. I told her that I'd been calling it "God's Gift".

As I left, I was feeling pretty good and on my way to church. I wasn't expecting anything but to hear a good word, which I got. After church I talked to some people on my way out. When I got outside there was a lady and her son standing outside of the church. I looked over and told them to have a blessed week and she walked over to me to give me a hug but then she slipped something that felt like paper in my hand. We continued talking about the goodness of God and Jesus being the reason for the season. No word was mentioned about what she'd given me although I knew what it was. I got in the car and looked at my palm and there lay a folded $20 bill. I had to praise the Lord. I hadn't spoken my need to anyone but God and the friend I'd called earlier. I knew that God must have placed it on her heart to approach me. It just amazes me how faithful God can be and I'm grateful that there are still people who hear God and are obedient to His word.

Counting It All Joy

2005-12-15T21:39:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while I have a day that tries my nerves and my faith like no other day. Well, today was one of those days. I've often heard it said that when you follow the Lord things don't get easier and I'm learning they don't. My day started off with me taking back the Kia I bought a few weeks ago. The loan I used to finance the car had certain requirements that the Kia didn't fit. The solution, the dealer had to put me in a bigger, more expensive car. It's a 2004 Hyundai Sonata. I wanted a Toyota Corolla but somehow I ended up with the Sonata. The issue with this current arrangement is the payments stay about the same as the Kia but the loan term is longer and my car insurance goes up.

So after dealing with the car, I've got some other things to take care of. Stuff like the cell phone bill I can't pay trying to buy a car, the gas I need to put in my "new" car, donating my old car and working on a project for one of my classes that should have been done before today. But that's life right?

So I get home and call the Kidney Foundation so that I can donate my car. I forgot to mention to you all that about a week ago one of the tires on my old car went flat. So, the lady helping me at the Kidney Foundation asks if there are any flat tires or broken windows. Of course she's going to ask that. So I tell her about the tire and she says that I need to get that taken care of before they can tow it. I'm thinking I really don't want to put any more money into this car. So I tell her I'm going to take care of it. After getting off the phone I start reading a notice that was left inside my door. And what do you know? The notice is from the property managemnent saying that there's a tan Volvo parked in the parking lot with a flat tire that was cited on 09/07/2005 (I'm assuming they meant 12/07/2005) and it would be towed on Friday, December 19, 2005 (I'm assuming that's a typo too since the 19th is a Monday) if the tire isn't fixed and the car doesn't move. What's really jacked up about this is that they put this notice in every tenants door. There's only eight units so it's not too bad but everyone here knows it's my car. So I go by the office to talk to the guy and leave my info for him to call me back. But at the office one of the administrators suggested that I try getting a product called "Fix-A-Flat". It comes in a can and it's supposed to coat the inside of the tire. So I go buy a can for about $5.00 (my last) and does it work. Let's just say it didn't for me but it's still a cool concept. So, the guy calls me back and I explain the situation. He agrees (albeit reluctantly) to give me another week to take care of the issue.

So after that fire gets put out, I still have to deal with my class project. Which to my knowledge is still incomplete. Everytime I turn around I'm getting an an email from my group mates telling me "you haven't done this" or "you haven't done that" or "this doesn't work" etc, etc... They're so concerned with what I need to do that they don't realize that their stuff isn't perfect either. They're emailing me about things that in the big scheme of the project doesn't matter. But all of that got me to thinking.

Why is it that we never focus on the good. Why is it that when people do things right we don't acknowledge it. Or whenever we are facing serious obstacles we focus on the bad. The same goes for faith. God has been more than gracious to me. I have everything I need. I may not have everything I want but I have all that I need. But the minute problems occur I forget about the good God has done and continues to do for me. He didn't have to do it. I start focusing on the problem and asking God why is all this happening? But I remember a verse of scripture that says trials and tribulations come to make us strong so count it all joy. Or something like that...

A "New" Used Car

2005-12-04T12:51:00.000-05:00

Well, what can I say? God made a way! On Friday December 2, 2005 (my brother and nephew's b-day), I was blessed to buy another car. It's a 2001 Kia Rio. Nothing fancy, but it feels nice to drive a car that if something happens to it over the next few years, I know it's covered. Although I have a car note now the car is still afforadable enough for me to make the payments fairly comfortably.

I thought I'd share that praise report just in case there's someone else who needs to know that God is still in the blessing business. He never left...

If You Ask....

2005-11-30T16:37:00.000-05:00

This has been a really interesting past couple of weeks. Where do I begin. I'll begin with my car. It's been having issues for the past few weeks. Last Sunday it finally had all that it could take. It's an older car (a 1991 Volvo station wagon) and she's done me well for the past year and a half. The car starts and before I can even put it in drive it cuts off. I just got the car worked on two weeks ago and the car stopped again. It's doing the same thing now as it was doing before I took it in to be worked on so I'm guessing that the problem wasn't fixed. The issue with this car is that every place I go I'm told that they don't work on Volvo's or they work on Volvo's but they don't have the equipment to work on mine because it's too old. My mom, and the mechanic I took the car to, have both suggested that I look into buying another car. I would have thought of that a long time ago if I could afford a car note.

So, because of this it's interfering with my job. But I get the feeling that certain people seem to think it's my fault. Like I had some superhuman power to forsee that my car was going to break down (again) and now that it has it's an inconvenience. I agree. It's not only an inconvience to the job but for me! It's hard when I have to be at work at 5a but the buses don't start running until 5:30a. I'm desperately looking for a car but unfortunately I don't have much to put down b/c I put what I had into the car that's now sitting in my parking lot. I'm trying not to make excuses and honestly I'm not stressed. Just a little confused about certain peoples reaction to the situation. Some folks have not been really supportive (they've almost been kind of jerkish) but I guess you gotta be who you've got to be. Maybe they've never been in my situation and I hope they never have to be because it really doesn't feel good.

In addition, I'm also looking for new employment. My job wants us to do this and do that but has yet to give us a raise. I haven't seen one of those in almost two years! So, I'm working harder, I've gotten no raise and I'm expected to have the funds to aquire adequate transportation. I guess that makes sense in some people's world but unfortunately it doesn't in mine.

The other day I asked a friend in the faith to say a prayer for me while I search for a car and they politely replied "we have not, because we ask not". That wasn't exactly what I was hoping to hear but they may be on to something. I thought I'd been asking God but maybe the problem is not that I haven't been asking but that I didn't necessarily believe that I would receive what I was asking for. And I know that's not what faith's about. If I don't believe that what I ask for in Jesus's name I will receive then why ask? I ponder that sometimes. And Lord knows I'm working on believing what I am asking for. If He's done it once, He's more than capable of doing it again.

God is Good!

2005-10-26T14:07:00.000-04:00

I just felt like saying that.

Today....

2005-10-16T21:33:00.000-04:00

Today is a good day in my life right now. After, two years of trying to get this thing off the ground, caferadio.org, is ready to start broadcasting. And I'm so grateful! I've still got a ton of songs to add to my playlist but I thank God for seeing me through this far. All praises due unto Him who is faithful to complete the good work which He has begun in me (Philippians 1:6). Hopefully, caferadio is only the beginning....

A Work In Progress

2005-10-02T18:33:00.000-04:00

Why is trying to be holy a sin?
What have I done to earn the condemnation of men?
My heart only yearns to belong
but the deeper my faith grows
the more I'm made to feel it's wrong.
It's hard sometimes to do what's right.
But the Lord promised that his yoke was
easy and his burden would be light.
What to do when you try to play both hands.
I'm a child of God that's true
but aren't we all?
I'm learning that in order to fly
I must not be afraid to fall....

I started this piece in college and have yet to find the words to complete it so it's still a work in progress. Stay tuned.

My Favorite Day of The Week....

2005-09-30T23:17:00.000-04:00

This may be small to some but colossal to me. My department at work has gotten smaller and covering hours has gotten difficult. I'll spare the details of the shifts but my work week began on Sunday and as a result of the lack of coverage I will have Sunday's off. Sunday has undeniably have to be my favorite day of the week. It feels like the world slows down. It's my lazy day and I'm soooo glad to have it back. More proof that prayers do get answered.

Yes, He Will

2005-09-25T18:07:00.000-04:00

I needed some serious affirmation this morning when I woke up. I start my work week on Sunday's and I seriously was not feeling like being there today. I really don't like working on Sunday's. It's my chill day. Not to mention the job itself. I've been praying to God help me start a new career in the area of internet technology i.e. the web. I'm back in school taking classes trying to bridge the gap but I still feel like there's SO much to learn. Throughout the morning a song kept coming to my heart that I must admit I haven't heard in quite some time. I started singing it and realized that it was a song by Fred Hammond entitled "Yes He Will". The lyrics almost read like a sermon and I swear it ministered to me this morning. The song goes something like this:

I will live and not die/For every need there is supply/For the Savior says just ask, just ask and/Believe that you'll receive/And if you ask the impossible won't He do it somebody say/Yes He will, yes He will, yes He will, oh yes He will/From deep in debt to being free/If you need that mountain in the sea/If it seems to hard for you/Just believe that He wants to/Do what seems impossible for you right now just say yeah/Yes He will, yes He will, yes He will, oh yes He will/Right now can you say with me/I believe He'll bless me/I believe He'll touch me/I believe He'll heal me/Oh yes He/Yes He will, yes He will, yes He will, yes He will/Believe only and do not doubt/If fear moves in evict it out/For the Lord responds to faith/And He longs to save the day/And if you ask the impossible, won't He do it say/Yes He will, yes He will, yes He will, oh yes He will/Our Father He loves to respond to our faith/It's his good pleasure/And if I ask the impossible will He do it for me/I gotta believe one thing/That He will.

The Prayers of Terri

2005-09-23T17:42:00.000-04:00

I've started this blog to chronicle my many prayer request, testimonies and daily spiritual revealings. The inspiration for this came about while reading the book, The Prayer of Jabez. I've been told in the past that I need to keep a spiritual journal of all the things I've asked God for and all of the things He's doing in my life. About a year ago I felt the pull of my Spirit urging me to start writing again but I didn't really know what to write about. Since that time I've been asking God to show me more about Himself and in turn He's placed it upon my heart to do what I've been told for years, to keep a journal. So here it is. I've killed enough trees already with my ramblings so know I'm going to take up some bandwith.

What follows, is a list of some of my prayer requests, not in any particular order. I originally wrote them out on paper several weeks ago and I am blessed to say that one of them has already been answered.

To receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

For my family and friends needs to be met.

Getting my car serviced, before Jan 2006, because the "Service" and "Check Engine Light" come on constantly. And that's the month I've got to get the car SMOGed.

Taking a trip to the UK

Purchasing a sectional sofa for my living room in beige or brown.

Learning how to love people that aggrevate me.

Purchasing a Mac computer. I'm still undecided about getting the PowerBook or the iMac

Completely paying off both of my student loans.

Moving back to Atlanta and purchasing a house (Loft or Bungalow) in the Inman Park, Candler Park, Highlands area of the city.

Finding a job in Internet New Media making twice as much as I do now.

To know God's will for me concerning my soulmate/rib cage/husband.

Starting ministry teaching basic computer skills to adults and children as well as starting an art after school program for kids.

To start streaming music via caferadio.org.

For the victims of Katrina to stay safe, for families to be reunited and for the Gulf Coast to come back stronger than ever.

Learning to trust God more and not be conformed to the ways of this world.